Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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