can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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