Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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