He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
this just has baby written all over it
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
