can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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