How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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