Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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