Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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