Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
