I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I want to fling myself into the sun
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
