stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
