All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Pants are for mortals
I yelled at your uterus for you.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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