I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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