Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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