Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
