I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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