this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
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