ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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