People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
