How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
