i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize