peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
this beer tastes like vomit already
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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