If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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