so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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