If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
