Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
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