Only a mothe r could love this liver
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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