Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
