Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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