so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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