and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
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