So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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