marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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