508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
