The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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