He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
