worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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