RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
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I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
