I got chris browned last night
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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