you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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