Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
