The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
