She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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