Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
