ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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