Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
