Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
