So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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