I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I think a kid would responsible me up
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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