ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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