There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
