never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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