Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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