i just google imaged poop.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
