Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
