Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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