why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
