I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
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