Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
