I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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