She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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