There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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