i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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