dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Enjoy the penises
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
